March 9, 2022

It always arises when the Crone cauldron is stirred, this question of age. How old is a Crone? As old as this image would suggest? Well, no. But age is important.

Women often ask me for an answer to this question. As if there is some definitive age. My spiritual teacher has suggested seventy five which is not the answer most women want and one that would preclude me from being Crone at seventy. 

I’m always stuck by this longing to be Crone and find myself wondering why. What is it in our culture that creates this aspiration to name ourselves Crone at fifty…and even forty? I will admit that I cringe when I hear of Croning ceremonies as a turning-forty birthday celebration. While the age may not be seventy five, it’s certainly not forty and from my observation it’s not fifty either. And yes, I know these words will not land well with some who are reading them. 

Yet while age is a factor, it’s more about the energies we hold. Consider this. A maiden is other defined and self focused. A mother is other defined and other focused. A Crone is self defined and other focused. 

Other defined and self focused. Although it can be frustrating to live with and seems a bit negatively judgmental, it is the role of a young woman to come into her own sense of self within community. So she takes her cues from others and is fairly self absorbed by the process. As it should be.

Other defined and other focused. As we know so well, mothers step into roles that are absolutely defined by others, especially spouses and children. And they are focused on the care of others over themselves. For many women this includes roles in the workplace. As it should be.

Self defined and other focused. When we step away from those roles in the family and workplace, we are able to reflect on who we are and sift through the accumulated years of experience to find the wisdom of knowing who we are independent of others. We find a new purpose in our lives and, within the global and ancient knowing of elder hood, understand that we are here to be of service to our community – service that arises from a renewed sense of self, a sense of self in right relationship with the sacred, the Earth, and community. Yes, we are self defined. But it’s not about us. As it should be.

There are no definitive answers to when we become Crone. But there are questions I would ask of those who aspire to be Crone. We accumulate wisdom throughout our lives, through being maiden and mother, so what in that accumulation puts us through the threshold of Crone wisdom? Have we stepped away from our roles in family and workplace to experience the freedom to claim our elder sovereignty? Are we ready to see ourselves on the final journey of life and approaching the death gate? This last question may land hard, but it’s perhaps the most important question as this is the landscape of elder, of Crone and this perspective is essential wisdom in crossing the Crone threshold. 

Elders ask questions that bring clarity. Perhaps these questions will bring a bit of clarity to the age old Crone question. 

Blessings of Crone Wisdom,
Judith